Remember, remember, July the 1st

So…I have a license to practice medicine as a resident physician in my state.

That was a huge relief off my shoulders. However, the experience was incredibly unpleasant and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. The licensing board holds doctors to such ridiculous superhuman standards. And they’re incredibly rude, to top it all off.

Annnnnyway….now that’s over…well, the day after I got the wonderful news, actually….I had my first day of psychiatry residency: July 1st.

It was quite the overwhelming experience. Nothing bad happened, I was just an overall anxious clutz who didn’t know the ropes at the hospital and didn’t know what to do with herself. But I’m pretty sure everyone feels like that the first day of residency.

Except when your attending asks you to present a patient in front of the whole team and you pipe up “Sorry doctor, I didn’t see that patient with you”, and she says “really? I was sure you did…” and you insist, “No, I didn’t, sorry”. So, then, she presents the patient and 30 seconds in you try to not morph your facial expression into one of horror as you realize you did indeed see that patient with her.

Yeah. I did that.

First day as a doctor and I can’t even remember my patients. Shit.

But that was the biggest blunder. I think. There were also a bunch of I don’t know’s answering her questions. Simple questions to top it all off. She was probably thinking I was an idiot. And she wasn’t far from the truth if that was the case. It was my first day. Right?

I still can’t get used to being called “doctor” and that it’s actually true. Was kinda mindblown when I read my name next to the words Faculty/resident. Transitioning from the role of medical student to that of resident was harder than I thought. I told my attending. And I also told her that I was sorry for being nervous and awkward. It was my first day.

And at the end of the day, she said “You did a great job.”

I think she was just trying to be nice. But that’s fine. I’ll get the hang of this.

Eventually.

 

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