Ups and downs. Now is an up moment!
Yes. They mostly have to do with men. One in particular. The one I posted about recently. However, I don’t want to sound like I’m blaming men as a collective for my shitty mood. It’s one thing to say “I hate men” in the heat of the moment, it’s another to actually believe it. There have been idiots in my life, like the Russian, and full-blown pieces of feces like the Ex (I’m sorry, feces), but this one seems more of a decent nature and my ups and downs are merely due to my longstanding difficulty with romantic relationships.
That’s the borderline bit that I still can’t seem to shake off…Any little thing means abandonment or failure to me. Not that guys ever get to know, though, it’s a mess entirely contained in my head. Entirely MY business.
In addition to men there’s this itty bitty detail that takes place next week…
The Match is next week.
THE MATCH IS NEXT WEEK.
So, next week I get to find out where I’m living for the next 4 years. Which, granted, no matter where it is it will be a shock to me and a huge change because I’ve never lived outside of my home city for more than 2 months.
Mega holy crap.
….But it’s scary and exhilarating all at the same time. More scary now, though.
I can’t believe next week is my turn. To me the Match was a mystery when I began med school. Ah, ignorance is bliss.
How does one go about this? Well, on Monday 14th I get an email that says whether or not I matched at a residency spot, yay or nay. Not more or less information than that. Then Match Day is Friday 18th and that’s when I get my hands on this crazy-ass letter that says where I’ve matched for residency. That’s 4 days of torture, yes.
And that’s counting on me matching. Which I’m pretty confident about, surprisingly.
I’d rather distract myself with this new love interest, honestly.