Midnight stream-of-consciousness

Severe. Fffffffffucking. Bloating.

So fffffucking bloated.

Purged (a little bit) 2 and half hours after eating a little less than what a normal human being would consider a meal.

And somehow I swear it just triples inside my stomach and refuses to go down.

I restrict and purge and it results in this. Bloating. And because I’m bloated and feel horribly distended and desperate, I purge. Cue the vicious cycle.

It’s been my life for the past week and a half.

Sorry, I had to confess. I hadn’t posted that. A usual with me, there’s always *something* going on.

I guess my body is very sensitive to even the mildest of eating disordered behaviors by now.

Fuck.

Fucking. Bloated. Bloat. Fat. Bloat. Fat. Ass. Distended. Disgustingness.

FAT.

 

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6 comments
  1. K said:

    I feel you! My stomach is so sensitive – if I eat too fast or even overeat a little I’m super-bloated and… super – farty! It’s embarrassing as hell. Try simethicone! And I put a heating pad on my stomach to relax the muscles- I feel it helps 🙂 and drink tons of water!

    I’ve been purging a little more than usual, too… it sucks 😦 We need to catch ourselves before we go down that spiral.

    Lots of love,
    K

    Liked by 1 person

    • K, yes, we need to catch ourselves. I feel like lately I’m falling down that spiral, ugh. Gastroparesis (or at least that’s what I’m pretty damn sure it is) is not helping at all. I’m trying to take it slow, but today was again a sucky day. Sigh. Thinking of giving teas a shot. Will definitely try the heating pad. Thanks for the advice, love ❤

      Like

  2. 💜 bloating stinks. And you so know that the more behaviors you engage in the more bloated you will be. The other interesting ED fact is that the thinner you are the fatter you feel. How does that happen?!?!

    Like

    • Ugh, yes and yes. ED’s make no sense. They truly are a vicious cycle 😦

      Like

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