Surgery has been great this week. Was working at the outpatient surgery service with oncology patients. So, I had interaction with patients, which was great because I seriously needed seeing awake patients.
But, what really has me in a good mood is that….I have a crush on somebody. Ugh. A surgery resident. Double ugh. Actually, he’s in surgery but he’ll be changing to ophthalmology next year, so please don’t judge me. I met him at the outpatient surgery service this Monday.
Yeah, I wasn’t even expecting to be attracted to this guy, but then I spent a good deal of time looking at him and interacting with him…and I’m really attracted. Damn it.
Today he scrubbed in on a surgery that another med student and I were supposed to be watching. And he gave me even more reason to like him. He seems so nice and considerate of us med students. He doesn’t seem at all arrogant like most surgery residents. I spent a good deal of time looking at him during the surgery, as it was (probably) the last time I would see him. The embarrassing part is that he caught me looking a few times…and he looked back at me.
Ugh, then he asked me to adjust his glasses during the surgery. I’m such a little girl, damn it. But the only time I dared speak to him today was to ask him what the surgery consisted in.
What pisses me off about all this is that I felt attracted to this guy in the blink of an eye. It pisses me off how fast I become attracted to men, and I think it has all to do with having borderline personality disorder.
*Sigh* I’ll be on call tomorrow for 24hrs. I might get to see him because I think he said he would be on call too, but I’m trying not to be hopeful.
Ugh, I’m so attracted to this guy. Damn it.