Under pressure

Terribly overwhelmed. That’s how I feel.

It’s that time of the year. Yep, I never thought it would come, but it’s here. In the blink of an eye I progressed from first year in medical school all the way to second semester of third year. What does that mean, you may wonder?

It means I finally have to start deciding what the hell I’m going to be doing with my life.

It means that, theoretically speaking, I have to decide if I’m going to be doing away rotations. In other words, rotations in a hospital away from home. These are usually done to increase your exposure to the program you’re planning to apply to, to network, or just to get away for awhile. It also means that I have to start thinking where I’ll be applying to for residency.

Lately I’ve been leaning towards leaving home. All the signs point towards that. But I’m so damn afraid and insecure of myself, of leaving home. Yet, I haven’t payed much attention to the psychiatry residency at home. All the programs I’ve been researching, including my #1 option at the moment, are at least 1,000 miles away from here!

And I have so many damn questions. When do I have to turn in applications? How do I even begin an application essay? Where do I want to go?

There’s so much noise in my head. All this considering that I still don’t even know if I passed my internal medicine shelf exam. And I begin the surgery rotation on Tuesday. Hooray….Not.

I just feel under a lot of pressure right now. I don’t know where all this is going and it scares me.

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2 comments
  1. Hi Love,

    I completely understand the pressure you are going through, and unfortunately, that is par for the course. Med school just sucks. I really think that away rotations are an excellent idea and moving away from home is invaluable. You learn so much and are able to break old habits and you grow so much. I am so happy you are considering it for rotations and for residency.

    Do you have to do special applications for your away rotations? The ones for mine were not too complicated, just time-consuming. You have a lot of time to work on your residency applications so don't worry. I suggest starting to work on personal statements around June. That'll give you plenty of time. The applications themselves on ERAS are accepted starting September 15, but some programs don't even start looking at the applications until November. Most programs accept applications until mid-November. I definitely was adding programs up until December.

    I tried to leave a comment on your last post while I was at work but it was on my phone and it got completely erased. haha, of course. I am working 12-hr shifts and I have 7 interviews this month and I am so burnt out. The idea of getting up in the mornings is enough to send me into a depression. I am really sorry to hear about your mother. That is such a difficult situation. I hate to sound heartless, but unfortunately there is only so much you can do to help some one. They need to want to help themselves. Does your mother admit that she is depressed and does she know she is being hurtful to others? And if you being around is not helping the situation but is harmful to you, I think it is best for you to move. This is the time you need to start putting yourself first. You are undergoing a huge feat – med school and applications – and really don't have time to devote to people who will not accept your help. You really only have one shot at this med school thing, so give it your all. It will all be worth it 🙂

    And thanks so much for your very positive comments on my blog. I will reply on there. You really make me a feel a lot less lonely and I love chatting with you. I gotta get to bed now but let me know how you're doing soon.

    Love,
    K

    Like

  2. Hi K,

    I can't believe how fast time passes, seriously. 2014 arrived too fast for my liking, haha! How do you deal with all the pressure? And as stupid as it sounds, thank you for giving me dates, it really helps me calm down and not feel so lost. At least I have somewhere to start.

    For now I'm seriously considering one program that uses VSAS, while I'm also considering another program that just has its own application. I'm kind of excited, but at the same time scared. I'm a really introverted and shy person and I really hope I don't give off the wrong impression at those programs. I usually just let my work speak for itself, but I've learned in third year that that's not enough, unfortunately. So how did you make the most of your away rotations? And were they worth it?

    7 interviews in one month? Wow, that's crazy, but I'm sure you can do it. I totally relate with you on the whole feeling burnt out part, and feeling depressed in the mornings. Just be aware of what you're feeling and if things get too out of hand, look for help. Are you still seeing a therapist?

    About my mother…she doesn't realize she's being hurtful, and if she does she doesn't say it. It's a very difficult situation, really. Rationally, I know you're right when you say that I should move away if she is not accepting help. However, I keep getting this terrible feeling that I'm abandoning my parents if I leave.

    I too enjoy chatting with you! It's always good to have company during this med school thing 😉

    Take care!

    Like

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