Terribly overwhelmed. That’s how I feel.
It’s that time of the year. Yep, I never thought it would come, but it’s here. In the blink of an eye I progressed from first year in medical school all the way to second semester of third year. What does that mean, you may wonder?
It means I finally have to start deciding what the hell I’m going to be doing with my life.
It means that, theoretically speaking, I have to decide if I’m going to be doing away rotations. In other words, rotations in a hospital away from home. These are usually done to increase your exposure to the program you’re planning to apply to, to network, or just to get away for awhile. It also means that I have to start thinking where I’ll be applying to for residency.
Lately I’ve been leaning towards leaving home. All the signs point towards that. But I’m so damn afraid and insecure of myself, of leaving home. Yet, I haven’t payed much attention to the psychiatry residency at home. All the programs I’ve been researching, including my #1 option at the moment, are at least 1,000 miles away from here!
And I have so many damn questions. When do I have to turn in applications? How do I even begin an application essay? Where do I want to go?
There’s so much noise in my head. All this considering that I still don’t even know if I passed my internal medicine shelf exam. And I begin the surgery rotation on Tuesday. Hooray….Not.
I just feel under a lot of pressure right now. I don’t know where all this is going and it scares me.