Limbo

I’m not feeling very good right now. I’m afraid, worried, and sad.

I took the two tests I had on Thursday. The internal medicine one was difficult, but I don’t really care about that one. The one I care about is the ObGyn practical test.

My friends who took the test with me that day already have their grades and they passed. I, on the other hand, still haven’t had my grade posted and I’ll have to wait until Monday. What’s so bad about that you may wonder? Well, when I took the test the first time around the same thing happened. Now I’m thinking that maybe I didn’t pass the test and that the coordinator is revising my grade….same thing that happened last time.

When I was doing the test I thought I was doing OK. But there were a few things I realized afterwards that I forgot to ask the patient and others I didn’t have the time to perform.

This is all really consuming me. If I don’t pass this test then I’ll have to repeat the ObGyn rotation next school year, meaning that I probably won’t graduate with my friends, meaning that I’ll have a big, ugly F in my transcript, and meaning that I’ll feel like a complete failure (not that I don’t already).

I don’t know what to do. All I want to do is to sleep so that the thoughts won’t consume me, but I can’t. So I’m left in this limbo of agony.

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