Do I like it?

I don’t have much to say this time around. I’m stressed and blocking most of my emotions.

I’m angry at M, for cancelling this past week’s appointment. I really needed to talk to her about what happened with my Ex.

I was talking to my mom yesterday about how if I had the chance to repeat medical school I wouldn’t do it at all. Honestly, I wouldn’t. It’s way too much work, way too much sacrifice.

But, after I told her that, I was thinking about whether I like this career after all. I think I don’t. I think the reason I dwell on this so much is because I fear realizing that I don’t like medicine. And, actually, I think I don’t like it that much. Psychiatry is just the specialty I find most tolerable.

I don’t know, maybe it’s the BPD talking. I’m just very frustrated because I feel trapped and want a way out.

Maybe it’s internal medicine.

I don’t know.

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2 comments
  1. Hi Doc,

    I always wonder whether I should have done a career in art or something like that. Sometimes I feel very trapped in medicine, like I'm trying to turn my creative self into a boring copy of a copy. But for now I think I'm OK in medicine (read my most recent post).

    Plus, I was thinking, if I ever get tired of medicine or find out it's not for me after all, there's so many other options out there. It's not the end of the world, right? I could even turn my writing into a career.

    Take care! Hope to hear more from you!

    Like

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