Retractors and men

I’ve spent the weekend with my family. They came over to my apartment and stayed overnight from Saturday to Sunday. Hence, I haven’t studied, or done anything medical school related. It was fun. We went to the beach, we explored the city…It was great.

A retractor…my new best friend.

So last week culminated in a sort of bittersweet manner. On Thursday I assisted in a c-section (a.k.a: I held retractors for an hour, hence the colloquial term “retractor bitch”). It was really a great experience. I’m not afraid of blood, or surgeries, so it was really great for me to experience that firsthand…even if it was just holding a few instruments for an hour. However, it was really bittersweet because the patient had mild mental retardation and due to that and other things it made me wonder whether her baby was a product of sexual abuse. I’ll never know, but it left me very worried.

Then on Friday I literally did nothing. I hung around the hospital all day waiting for two conferences we were supposed to go to. They turned out to be a huge waste of time.

But, you know, what I really wanted to write about was the guy. Yeah, THE guy. Remember him? Yeah, well, he added me on facebook yesterday out of the blue and started a conversation. He asked me how I was, as if nothing had happened since I last heard of him. I asked him whether he had a girlfriend, because, I told him, I saw his profile (insinuating the fact that there’s a bunch of posts on his wall from this specific girl). He said he doesn’t have a girlfriend, and if he did he wouldn’t be denying it.

You know what? For some reason, I believe him. I don’t know if it’s a trap, maybe I’m being naive, but I believe him. He might be a player, but I doubt he is in a relationship. This is the same guy who told me that once he was unknowingly in a relationship with a married woman and it almost got him killed. I don’t think he’d be stupid enough to get into a similar mess again, right?

I’m probably being naive. Whatever. He told me he’ll be in town in October and that he wants to see me. Sure. Fine. Whatever. But I’m excited. That’s a bad sign, I know. I’m such a girl.

So, if come October he messages me, I’ll probably end up seeing him. I’m not looking for anything serious, I mean, my boyfriend’s name is Medical School. But damn, I’m so attracted to this guy. Again, I’m such a girl.

Damn it. I’m in that trap again.

I’m such a girl.


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