It only took a little bit of facebook stalking to realize that I got played. The guy already has another girl, or at least I’m under that impression. Plus, he hasn’t contacted me in a week. That says it all. Game over.
I just can’t get over it, though. I’m trying to move on, trying to focus on the positives, but I keep thinking that I somehow have this tattoo on my forehead that says “USE ME”. On the flip side, to try to soothe myself, I’ve thought that at least this most recent encounter proves to me that I can indeed do the whole dating thing. I’m back in the game.
But I don’t know if I want to play the game. I’m too invested when it comes to guys. I either love them or don’t care about them at all. I’m too afraid of getting hurt. How many times am I going to lose the game before I actually find someone who’s worthwhile? And, someone who’ll accept me for who I am, mental illness and all.
I guess another positive I can get out of this is the fact that I haven’t given much thought to cutting to alleviate the pain of getting hurt. That means progress.
Changing the subject…I’ve been reconsidering going to the other city for my Ob/Gyn rotation. After talking to my sister and several others, I think there’s more positives than what I originally thought. Also, I think it would be good to get away from my family for a while. However, I know it’s an important decision, and I don’t want to take it lightly or impulsively. So, tomorrow, I’ll call M and see what she thinks.
So much going on. Decisions, decisions.