I’m sick with sinusitis. Yay! I’m all congested, have a terrible headache and a killer toothache. I’m a hot mess.
To make matters worse, I still haven’t heard anything from the guy. I still have the hope that he’ll contact me between Saturday and Sunday. After that, it’s definitely over.
But what I’ve really pushed to the back of my mind is something that has the potential to affect my mental health. I was chosen to do the third year Obstetrics and Gynecology rotation in another town. It’s about 2 hours (without traffic) from where I live, so staying at home and commuting is not an option. This rotation begins in August, so I have only a week to scramble around and make arrangements. I’m beyond pissed.
In Tuesday’s appointment with M I mentioned this to her. I read her from my diary, where I wrote that if I had to go to the other town to do my rotation I would end up killing myself. Yes, it’s that bad.
I don’t know if she took me seriously, which she should have. I truly feel like going to this other town will affect me seriously and could send me off into a deep depression again. The only way of not having to go is by asking a panel of professors and med school administrators and explaining to them my reasons for not being able to go. Then, they will decide whether or not they will exempt me from having to do my rotation in this other town.
What do I fear? Exposure. I fear having to expose my private health matters to people I don’t even know. I also fear being told that in spite of my asking for an exemption I will still have to go, because this would mean they didn’t understand the seriousness of the matter.
I’m really worried.