I just finished a practice test for Step 1. I scored 6 points above my minimum goal score. I almost did a little dance when I saw the score. Let’s see what happens on July 8th. Only one more week to go.
So I left a message for M yesterday to please call me back. However, she never called. I self-harmed a little bit because of that, but just a little bit. It made me feel so insignificant and small. I’m really sensitive, I bet you can tell. I just really want to know whether it was a misunderstanding or if something happened or what. It’s all so confusing and hurtful to my little BPD heart.
But most of all, I’m angry and frustrated. Being so sensitive makes me doubt whether I can be a doctor. How am I going to deal with “difficult” patients or insults? I hope I can slowly grow a thicker skin.
Hmm…don’t have much else to say. I’m just trying to really focus on Step 1 for now. Trying not to think about M and what happened.
Anybody have some interesting plans for the weekend? (Unlike myself).