Racing

I’m hungry.
This is what’s going through my mind right now
I’m suddenly triggered beyond imagination
I’m seeing M tomorrow
And suddenly, out of nowhere I got triggered
To self-harm
But I will not do it
I WILL NOT DO IT
She doesn’t care about me
Whatever made me think she does?
I’m nothing to her
I’m nothing to everyone
She and her supervisor are confabulating against me
I’m an experiment
A lab rat
They’ll pick and prod me
Pick apart the pieces
Then laugh at everything
And think what a fucked up thing I am
Shouldn’t have trusted her
No, I shouldn’t have
Trust no one
Trust no one
Trust no one
I can’t trust anyone
I’m turning everything into more than what it is
But I can’t control myself
Destroy
Self-destruct

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