Same shit, different day. Went to lecture today and it was an absolute waste of time. The whole day was a complete waste of time. I had shitty classes and classes that were cancelled. I’m pissed.
Had an ethics class today where two judges were pretty much giving us advice on how not to be sued for malpractice. It can all be summarized into: Don’t be a dumbass, and talk to your patient.
But the one thing on my mind is that M didn’t call me. She was supposed to call me this week to schedule our next appointment. I’m tired of this bullshit. Why is it always me? Am I that forgettable? I’m hating her right now, feeling abandoned and just plain pissed! I need to talk to her, I need therapy!
Also, two friends of mine saw the cuts on my wrist today. They don’t know I self-harm, but I think it’s quite obvious that’s what the cuts are. Still, they asked me what happened. I panicked instantly and gave the most lame-ass excuse ever: I fell. I appreciate my friends’ concern, but honestly, it’s none of their business asking me what happened. Is it not obvious that I self-harm???
Finally, to top things off, I weighed myself today and I’m at exactly the number of pounds I don’t want to be at. I feel like a whale…a beached whale.
Fuck, I’m just overall pissed and hating life right now. I’m triggered, I’m sad, I’m angry, I’m frustrated, and I feel abandoned.
Sorry for the rant.