My life is really not interesting. I’m your average overachiever who got into med school and got depressed. Moderate to Severe Major Depressive Disorder, to be exact. But why did I get depressed?
I was in a relationship for 5 years. It was a bad relationship, and I won’t go into details, except that he was a bit emotionally abusive.
So, halfway through first year of med school, precisely during the hell that is Gross Anatomy, we broke up…or, better said, were forced to separate suddenly. 4 months went by and I knew nothing about this person, until one day he called…to apologize. That’s when I ended it all. I was very weak, but thanks to a psychologist and lots of therapy, I was stronger by then.
So that was trigger #1 for my depression.
Trigger #2 was my grandmother. During the same time that I was rid of this relationshit (typo, and it stays) my grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. My mother was her caretaker. It took a toll on my mother, and thus, a huge toll on me and my family. My home was pure hell. Every day I came back from med school I would hope and cross my fingers so that the house was empty. But it was hard, my mother was barely at home and was constantly having to deal with the emotional stress that is taking care of someone with Alzheimer’s. It was a very hard time. And, this lasted more than a year, as even before being diagnosed my grandmother was already showing signs of not being able to take care of herself.
My grandmother, sadly, passed away recently, so things at home are calm. But it was a trigger, nonetheless.
Trigger #3…Medical School. There’s really not much to say about this one, except that there’s no way you can understand it until you experience it. Seeing as I’m supposed to be studying right now, I’ll leave this one for my next post.
Stay tuned. Grab some popcorn.