So I woke up heavily suicidal today, go figure. Depression is kicking me in the arse…ok, depression, you win….for today.
You know what I hate? Crappy lectures. You know what I hate even more? Crappy lectures when you’re depressed/suicidal or simply not in the mood to give a (pardon my French) fuck.
The truth is, lectures at my school suck. Terribly. Well, mostly. Ok ok, they’re not ALL bad, but the majority are just plain crappy. Now in our Cardiology block it seems like every boring lecturer or non-lecturer, for that matter, has decided to give class to MS2s. And, I’m not against the older/more experienced lecturer. Quite the contrary, the more the merrier. However, it’s a problem when you simply don’t give me lecture and start rambling about who knows what or politics, or your personal health, or whatever non-med school related shenanigans. Then they wonder why people simply don’t go to lecture. It’s a general waste of time.
Of course, there’s a few memorable lecturers around here….but that’s it, a few. And honestly, sadly, actually, the vast majority of crappy lecturers are MDs. PhDs seem to be more freakishly excited about what they’re talking about. MDs seem to just ramble on and on…..kinda how I’m doing right now.
Sorry about complaining so much. I can’t stand myself today. If I could have it my way I would have stayed at home, sleeping….forever. It’s kinda sad when you wake up thinking “I hate my life, I should just die.”
I was thinking today about how I don’t like my life right now. It’s all lather, rinse, repeat. When did this happen? I don’t understand why med school has had this effect on me. The truth is, I like the idea of being a doctor. Hell, I want to be a doctor. I guess it’s the process what I’m not so keen on. Plus all the other personal crap that seems to flower when you least expect it.
Sorry about the negativity. Like I said, depression is kicking me in the arse today.