Black and White

I’ve been struggling with black and white thinking lately. 4 or 5 things seem to be going wrong, thus, EVERYTHING must be going wrong.

Med school has been quite uninteresting lately, I honestly don’t like the material we’re studying right now. It’s Cardiology, it’s EKGs, it’s a bunch of equations I honestly couldn’t care less about, it’s plumbing. And I have nothing to look forward to, as the next test is the Renal/Respiratory block, which I also don’t like. I’m in a rut. It makes me hate everything and doubt whether I honestly should be a doctor. Everything is black. It even makes me have doubts about Psychiatry and whether it truly interests me. Did you see the previous post? Yeah, right now I’m not even remotely interested in ANY area of medicine. Black and white thinking in action. 

Also, I haven’t had therapy for two weeks. My psychiatrist is at some meeting in some other city, so I feel kind of abandoned. I’ve tried to not think about it as much as possible, ignoring the huge white elephant in the room, but I’m getting desperate. Just 2 more days to go. I can do this, I think?

So, back to med school. I’m really worried lately about how the only area I’m interested in right now is Psychiatry. I know it sounds ridiculous and I’m barely in second year, but it still freaks me out. What if I realize it’s not for me? What if nothing else interests me as much as Psychiatry? What, then? Maybe I’m looking too much into it.


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